“You smug ,unwarranted pretentious prick;”
Dear Ben,
You smug ,unwarranted pretentious prick; I am positive that gave you some sort of perverse pleasure.
This is what I truly think:
It all starts when I gaze into your eyes looking for your soul, only to find your empty, meaningless antidotes and one-liners, which, by the way, reeked of the worst kind of insincerity- obligatory. Get off of your self proclaimed pedestal and open your eyes. When will the imprudent deceit stop? You don’t have to right to patronize anyone. You may think, in some delusional way, that you are “sparing feelings”- hardly the case. Although, I can’t get off the hook that easily, I must admit there were several times conceded to your patronizing words only to make things “easier”, but usually not without allowing some choice words to calm myself. While I’m on the subject, who do you think you are? A gift? Really? Isn’t it just enough to be with someone? Why must you create a sense artificial adoration? Is it in order to make things more comfortable? Are you incapable of saying what you really feel? Notice I said feel, not think; most of the people in your life a fully aware of your capacity to ruin a perfectly good time with your uncensored, excessive displays of what Brian knows. Congratulations!
All this said I feel I should clarify a few things. I still don’t know why I am attracted to you. Maybe it’s an illness I haven’t quite outgrown, or the classic women’s desire to “fix”. Who knows.. But even within your charade, I found a time to shine, which can only be described in one word- faked.
Well I feel better. Now there will no tension under the rare circumstance that we should see each other. It is quite liberating to say what you actually feel; you should try it some time. LOL
Best Wishes,
Jess
