Aug 25, 2010
Posted on Aug 25, 2010 in Cliche | 0 comments
Subject line: You still have my heart
You still have my heart and mean the world to me.There are so many things that I miss about you. I miss walking in the room seeing you and the smile it put on my face. I miss your kiss and your touch. I miss holding you in my arms. I miss seeing you walk around in your sweat pants or my boxers and a t-shirt with your hair pulled up. I felt so much happiness, comfort and love when we were together. We could talk about anything with eath other. It didnt matter what we did. I was happy with you. I know that I have to keep on going, but without you by my side I feel that I am missing a part of myself. It was the greatest time in my life when we were together. My LOVE for you is so strong. When I think of you or hear your name. I feel it in my heart and deep in my soul. My LOVE for you is everlasting. I hope that one day we get to be together to feel and share that LOVE again. T loves J always and forever.
Aug 25, 2010
Posted on Aug 25, 2010 in Angry Love Letter | 0 comments
Subject Line: I guess I’ll never understand.
I know I fucked up. I know I made a huge mistake. I was a big enough person to admit that. I apologized. I promised you that things would get better. The problem is, only one of us wants to fix things. Only one of us has the strength, the want, and the desire to be together like we said we would. It’s not fair that you’re doing this. It’s not fair that you’re putting me through this. It’s not fair that I changed my whole life plan, and sat around waiting for a year for you to come back home, just so that you could tell me you’re done six months into being home. It’s complete bullshit. I hate myself for ever caring about you. I hate myself for loving you the way I do. You’re so easy minded about everything, while I beat myself up for everything, my fault or not. I can’t take the constant turmoil anymore. I can’t take you going back and forth like you have before. I need stability. I need love. I need intimacy. I needed you. And I end up with nothing. You’ve made your decision, and that’s it. There’s no turning back. You wanted to be without me, and that’s exactly what you’re gonna do. There is no “I fucked up. I’m sorry. I love you” bullshit. I bought that too many times. I’m going to move on with my life. WIthout you.
Aug 25, 2010
Posted on Aug 25, 2010 in Cliche | 0 comments
Dear Andrea
Its been a few years now and I still haven’t forgotten you. It seemed that the universe was pushing me to be with you, but I kept pushing you away. I had my own demons and I wanted to deal with them by myself. I was insecure, jealous, obsessive because I loved you and you were the only one I had ever felt that with. I wasn’t using or drinking. I was just depressed that I couldn’t be with you. The universe has never stopped telling me that I screwed myself by pushing you away.
The greatest moments of my life were the moments I spent with you. When I was laying with you on the couch with my head against your hip I felt like all the pain that had been in my life, everything that I had gone through, was gone. Ive never felt love for my family. Ive never felt love before. With you I know it was love. I loved your mother, I thought she was tame compared to my abusive father. I loved your brother, I can only wish I had had a brother like him when I was his age. I loved the smell of your body and your home. I loved Florida.
Ive been in the army, and Ive gotten out of the army with you being on my mind every single second of the day. I cant let go of you because I know in my heart that the way I treated you was the worst thing I could have ever done. I miss you, I feel like I always will. I worry about you constantly. Just let me know you still exist, let me know you are out there. Let me know you are ok. Let me know you are doing well for yourself so I can root you on from behind the scenes.
I went back to your home and you no longer lived there. I stopped searching for you after that. I may have lost you, but I will never forget you.
Love Always,
Greg
